Paul and Jennifer

June 1995

By Fr. Shnork Souin

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. The Biblical revelation of God's love for us is three-fold. First, it is "the action of perfect goodness for the sake of the other." It is with this unconditional love that God forgives His sinful and disobedient creation by giving His Son as the spotless lamb, the eternal sacrifice for atonement in whose blood is the New and Everlasting covenant whereby God promises to be our God and by which we will be His people (Jer. 31). Secondly, we are told of God's utterly pure desire for union and communion with His people and His creation. In the prophet Ezekial, God alludes to His marriage with Israel. He says;

I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread my wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you, entered a covenant with you and you became mine. Ezek. 16:7-8

This is the divinely and God-ordained pattern of all erotic love between husband and wife.

Thirdly, it is revealed that God shares with us a fraternal love. The love of friendship, the kind of love that breaks down the dividing wall between God and man. Jesus says, that we are His friends, "no longer do I call you servants, but I call you friends (Jn 15.15). He says in this context, that God loves us because we love and believe in Jesus whom He sent (Jn 16:27).

In summing up the divine revelation of love, it is the love of each one living completely for the good of the other, the love of erotic union in total oneness of mind, heart and flesh; and the love of perfect friendship that God has revealed and opened to us as the perfect paradigm, the icon for all Christian marriage.

People should not be scandalized or surprised by the reference to the word erotic or erotic love. The sin and darkness of the world are what transform something holy and God-ordained into something sordid or dirty. The act of physical love in a Christian marriage is in no way vile. It is the intimate act which finds its joy when perfected by those fully devoted to each other in all things, in every way and forever.

The sanctity of erotic love in "fidelity and the bed-undefiled" brings joy to those who are married. For this reason St. Paul has said; ...Each man should have his own wife, and each wife her own husband. The husband should give his wife the affection due her, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another except perhaps by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to fasting and prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor.7:2-5 Dear brothers and sisters of our Lord Jesus Christ, in the celebration of the sacramental rite of marriage that you have all just witnessed, Jennifer and Paul promised to each other and at the same time solemnly vowed before us and before God to be guardians of each other and to be faithful and honorable in love to one another, under all circumstances unto death, by the will and grace of God. Theirs and all human marriages exist by the will of God. This marriage on earth is now the created expression of God's eternal and enduring love for humanity and includes mankind, and particularly Paul and Jennifer, sacramentally into participation in the creative love of God. The love of Paul and Jennifer has been sanctified and purified. St. Paul says; To the pure, all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted. Titus 1:15 Just as God's love is eternally manifest to us through Christ's union with us by His incarnation and gift of the Holy Spirit, so is marriage an indissoluble union of two into one because "what God has joined together let no man separate." Paul you will love Jennifer completely, to the point of death, just as Christ loves the church. Jennifer you to, must be totally given to Paul in everything just as the church is given to Christ who is the head of His body. Today, the two of you are sacramentally or mysteriously united completely in heart soul and mind and even body. Today each of you as individuals have been made a special gift from God one to another. So tomorrow, when you are opening your wedding gifts and look into each other's eyes think about which wedding gift is your favorite, and which one is the eternal one. It will be the one at whom you will be looking at that moment. It will be the one given to you by God especially for you. You no longer live as individuals with separate ideals, different morals distinct dreams, but with one heartbeat, completing and complimenting, sacrificing and celebrating your love united in Christ, in the fellowship and communion of the Holy Spirit. None of this means that you are magically going to have a perfect marriage with no problems and with no struggles. In addition to remembering that you are married for better or for worse, remember also that you are married for good. The sacrament about which St. Paul talks, in the fifth chapter of Ephesians, is like all the sacraments, not mechanical but it must be received and never despised. God never forces his grace upon us but offers it freely. It is with this freely received grace given by God that the two of you have the possibility for perfection in marriage. It is through the holy sacraments, as windows into heaven, that we see into the eternal love of God that was revealed in the suffering and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. When a man and a woman truly love one another, they naturally desire that their love would be perfect. They want their marriage to be filled with all virtue and every fruit of the Spirit. They want it to last forever. This love and perfection is found and founded only in the one who makes it possible. So, only He and no one or nothing else can do it. The crucified One is the Savior and accomplisher of your love for one another. It is because you were seeking this perfection that you came to the church to be married in Christ. Remember the words of the Apostle; Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7 Paul and Jennifer, your marriage is stamped with the power of our Lord's all-conquering Cross, may God the Father bless you abundantly with the grace of His Holy and all-powerful Spirit, sealing between you the true and abiding love of His Son that you may become unified in all that you are, all that you have and in all that you do, glorifying the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit now and always unto the ages of ages, Amen.